Humour – Page 2 – Alexis Veenendaal

Pigeons are the Worst

Everything’s fine and the
day’s going great
until, from nearby
something flies in your face!
You scream in surprise
at the startling burst

I’m the one who steals your socks
and messes up your bed.
When you wash your white laundry
I add in something red!
I like to throw around ki

Please don’t call
or I may just cry.
I will not answer
but may certainly die.

I once met a gnome
who lived in a jar
and he told me a tale
of his travels “afar”.

“Oh my!” Proclaimed I
as I spotted my foe:
a big hairy spider
with at least fifty toes.

Why does the sun make me sneeze?
Why does spring air suffocate me?
Why do mosquitoes make me itchy?

There once was a woman,
Named Sara Harding.
In the year 20-something
her midlife was starting.
Her hair nearly gray
And her mind turned a

A poem about hating something, with an unexpected twist.

A poem about boredom, social isolation, and meaningless, positive cliches.

A short poem to my upstairs neighbours, who are especially loud during social isolation.