Mixology for the Meandering Magician My Fantasy Comedy novel, “The Reluctant Mentor”, is a satire about the heroes’ journey from the perspective of a failed mentor named Athragast. I’m currently querying agents for the project, but I wanted to share a taste (ha, get it? Because I’m sharing recipes?) of the story. Want to see…
Category: Humour
Strut.
I am the Ruler of the day and night. In the darkness, I creep. I find my prey: Little pink, hairless paws.
Dave at the End of the World
Apocalypses didn’t happen every day, but once they got started, they had this annoying habit of going about their business.
Those who exercised reasoning were the first to go, followed by fans of survival shows (they believed they understood the wilderness, having never left the confines of their paved-and-plastered twenty-fourth-floor apartments and most ended up eating the wrong type of mushroom in the first week). The hoarders did all right, at least for the first while. And the jerks? They made it all the way to the end, because nature loved adding a thorn to a rose bush. It turned out that at the end of the world, those CEOs who couldn’t convert a Word document into a PDF did just fine in a dog-eat-dog-eat-rat-eat-human society.
Creature in Crocs
A Shel Silverstein-inspired poem about a weird creature who likes to wear crocs.
Alien Tenant
“You’re a strange creature!”
The alien said
as he dropped from the sky
to land on my head.
Beautiful
Verdant greens that smell so sweet,
in summer air ‘neath cloudless heat…
Smell
Banana peels and pumpkin guts,
And rotted eggs that smell like butts;
Mushy mushrooms and moldy bread,
A hairy, slimy, lettuce head.
Melted trash in a noonday sun,
Microwave tuna overdone;
Steamed spinach and expired stew,
That’s what you smell like through and through.
Sometimes I Feel Bad About
Sometimes I Feel Bad About: a poem about little mistakes.
Pigeons are the Worst
Everything’s fine and the
day’s going great
until, from nearby
something flies in your face!
You scream in surprise
at the startling burst
Sock Stealer
I’m the one who steals your socks
and messes up your bed.
When you wash your white laundry
I add in something red!
I like to throw around ki