Mixology for the Meandering Magician
My Fantasy Comedy novel, “The Reluctant Mentor”, is a satire about the heroes’ journey from the perspective of a failed mentor named Athragast. I’m currently querying agents for the project, but I wanted to share a taste (ha, get it? Because I’m sharing recipes?) of the story.
Want to see these posts sooner? Subscribe to my Substack.
Athragast is an old wizard, sick of training fourteen-year-olds to swing a sword around for a week before saving the world; but before he can retire from mentoring Chosen Ones, he needs a hero for one last mission. Just about anyone will do, so he recruits Jon the busboy/pickpocket for the job.
The story has a mish-mash of odd characters and I’ve developed a cockTale (tale, get it? Yeesh, these are getting worse) for each of them. The recipes are below!
And hey, if you want to read the prologue of The Reluctant Mentor, you can do that here.
Athragast’s Abracablasting Bubbly
60 mL (2 shots) Gin
60 mL (2 shots) Pineapple Juice
60 mL (2 shots) Cranberry Juice
Splash of Grenadine
80 mL Tonic
Garnish with a slice of strawberry
Shake well in a cocktail shaker with ice, then strain into a highball glass. Add tonic, ice, and garnish directly to the glass (without shaking).
About the Character:
Athragast is a grumpy old wizard who has spent far too many decades training young heroes to become the Chosen One. He works at the Academy for High Wizardry as a mentor–but he’s sick of the drudgery. Now, all he wants is to retire. But a cottage off the magical grid is expensive, so he’ll need to complete one last quest to fund his final years of peace and quiet.
Jon’s Bardic Brew
1 can Sparkling Apple Cider
5 mL (1 tsp) Elderflower Cordial
60 mL (2 shots) Pomegranate Juice
Optional: Ice
Pour cider into a pint glass and stir in cordial and juice with a spoon.
About the Character:
Jon is the cheeriest, most optimistic, happy-go-lucky kid on the block. Okay, he insists he’s not a kid. (He’s old enough to vote! Whatever that means in an autocracy). He works as a tavern busboy with the most miserable job of cleaning up vomit, yet he still somehow sees the bright side. When he’s not scrubbing unpleasant liquids off the floor, he’s pickpocketing rich merchants and nobles (whilst claiming he is noble for only stealing from wealthy jerks). But when a glum wizard walks into his tavern looking for a hero, Jon jumps on the opportunity to do something exciting–despite having almost no credentials.
Shria’s Stamina Booster
2 shots Espresso
30 mL Kahlua (or coffee-flavoured liqueur)
30 mL Crème de Cacao
30 mL White Rum
Demerara Sugar
Rim the top of your martini glass with demerara sugar. Shake the rest of the ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice, then strain into the glass. Top with a couple of ice cubes.
About the Character:
Shria is a warrior first. At least, that’s what she’ll have you believe. She’s a tough nut to crack (and she’s more likely to crack your head open if you ask) but she’s loyal to her friends and would do anything to protect her home. Give her an axe and a target, and she’s your woman. Act like a know-it-all around her, and she’ll make you feel smaller than a sorcerer on the bad end of a shrinking spell.
Scout’s Tracker Tonic
30 mL (1 shot) Black Rum
2-3 leaves of Fresh Mint
Dash of Bitters
60 mL Orange Juice
Shake all ingredients well in a cocktail shaker with ice, then strain into a whiskey glass. Add a fresh sprig of mint as a garnish if you so desire.
About the Character:
Scout has never met a better friend than nature (unless you count his two besties, Shria and Priscilla). He carries around a sketchbook full of all the weird and interesting creatures he’s met across the land. His ultimate mission? To find the Legendary Tracker Beast, a creature with no true shape that carries the power to bestow a blessing on any tracker worthy enough to find it. Some day, he hopes to share his discoveries (and his drawings) with the Secret League of Trackers. But for now, he’s glad to tramp around after this grumpy old wizard who, incidentally, has a very interesting animal companion.
Priscilla’s Spiced Piña
60 mL (2 shots) Spiced (or Black) Rum
60 mL (2 shots) Coconut Milk
180 mL Pineapple Juice
1 cup Ice
All Spice
Pour all ingredients except spice into a blender and blend until there are no more ice chunks. Rim the top of a tall glass with All Spice, pour into a tall glass and serve.
About the Character:
Priscilla’s heart of gold extends beyond her friends to her food. She travels around the land in search of the best, most interesting spices to add to her culinary repertoire. She might soon set aside adventuring and open up a shop that trades in foreign spices. But for now, she’s happy to help out her friends, Shria and Scout, and brighten up their day whenever she can. Besides, who wouldn’t take the opportunity to teach some goblins how to bake croissants?
Peeper’s Peeping Peep
60 mL (2 shots) Whiskey
Dash of Bitters
Sprig of Mint
Shake everything together in a cocktail shaker with ice, then strain into a whiskey glass and enjoy.
About the Character:
What’s tastier than eating a cigar? How about nibbling directly on the tobacco leaf? Peeper is a magical rodent, looking half like a chinchilla and half like an armadillo. He (or rather she, as Athragast eventually finds out) is drawn to people with big destinies. Hence why she’s following this glum old wizard around. Whilst Peeper is not her real name, she has accepted the simpler moniker on account that the only words she can manage are “peep” and “chirrup”.
The Duke’s Dastardly Draught
60 mL (2 shots) Whiskey
15 mL (1/2 shot) Lemon Juice
15 mL (1/2 shot) Cranberry Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Dash of Bitters
Egg Whites
Shake well in a cocktail shaker with ice, then strain into a whiskey glass. Add ice and serve.
About the Character:
Urvine Thunderstein—or as he’s more notably known, The Duke of Nightmares—leads the Shadow Gang, an underground organization of disgruntled warlocks who steal and plunder but wouldn’t mind being considered for Hero-dom by the Academy. And they’re willing to use Athragast and his companions to get all the fame and glory they deserve.
The End
I hope you all enjoy these mixologist recipes inspired by the characters in my Comedic Fantasy, “The Reluctant Mentor”. Eventually, I hope to see that book on shelves, with an end glossary of all these delicious drinks.
And remember, you can read my prologue here: The Reluctant Mentor – Sneak Peek!
#amquerying